Knowing your audience is pretty doggone important…
Exhibit A: The guy sitting next to me at the airport right now.
He’s trying to pick up the girl he’s sitting next to (note: it’s 7:49 a.m. so he better have some pretty compelling content for this tactic to work).
Let’s listen on as he woos his unsuspecting victim, err, “customer”:
Red Sox versus Yankees
- As it turns out, the lad is a Red Sox fan
- I think it’s safe to say that 98% of women don’t care…closer to 99% this early in the morning
- Furthermore, I do believe them is fighting words in NYC.
- Sean Penn, Saddam Hussein and Hugo Chavez
- Something about Sean Penn living with Saddam for 30 days.
- [She just checked her watch] He flirted with the airline attendant to get a good seat
- Translation: In case you didn’t notice, I’m kind of a big deal.
- “My dad has been living the good life for the last 25 years.”;
- Proof? “He hasn’t laid a finger around the house “ hasn’t touched a dish for a quarter century. Mom does all that.”
- Clearly this guy is a huge proponent for women’s empowerment
- Firefighters are the ones always calling on cops
- Hmmm, I wonder which one he is.
- [She just looked the other way and yawned] Story about the time some utility company finally started paying attention to him because they over-reimbursed him for something.
- “Funny how they have time for me when their mess up means money lost for them”
- I’m going to have to agree with the guy here, but at 8 a.m., who really cares? Certainly not the girl he’s talking to.
- [Oh snap, now she’s utilizing the age-old “maybe if I don’t respond to anything he says, he’ll stop talking method”] Their flight was just called. Sigh of relief (hers; mine) I’m pretty sure she’s dreading the thought of being seated next to him, and I have a funny feeling he’s going to try to swap seats with her neighbor if she’s not.